This is my little greenhouse on the bizarre expanse that is the internet. I have forever been an anticipator, a chronic preparer. I wait and wait, plan and plan, but nothing ever comes of it. You can never plan enough or know enough, the only thing you can do is jump in, take a leap of faith, and let yourself exist with every bit of messiness intact. Otherwise, you ll only ever ruminate about what could ve been and regret what wasnt. I struggle astronomically with allowing myself to just be, but I am working on it and I ll get there, probably.
That is why this indie web movement inspired me to create this blog. The idea of something of mine remaining as scattered dust, maybe becoming residual noise on servers, gives me a sort of nauseating comfort I can’t put into words. I occasionally cough up poems and pieces—if you can call them that, like a bad case of bronchitis. I swear I’m not as miserable as some of my writings here. Perpetually stuck in my head, sure, abrasive; maybe even a little too easily aggrieved but it’s nothing a little sun can’t fix. I am still working on this website. Its nowhere near done and I dont think it ever will be, I have a habit of suspending everything in a long chain of continuity. Maybe its incompleteness will outlast mine.
نہ خدا ہی ملا نہ وصال صنم
نہ ادھر کے رہے نہ ادھر کے رہے
